Yes!

 Christmas time is always a time I consider Mary. I don’t worship her but most definitely revere her. Maybe it’s the woman in me, or maybe the mother in me that makes me consider all the things she may have considered, or pondered as the Bible says. To be as young as she was and to be as faithful as she was simply amazes me. Says so much about how she was being raised, probably by an extremely faithful mom and dad. I think about how she must’ve felt after the Angel of God visited her- I have to wonder if she didn’t giggle a little and be like me? Why me? How -I’m literally just a girl. Did she think am I crazy -was this actually a dream, am I losing it? But her faith!!! She may have questioned and wondered the whys and what for’s and how’s but she still said yes!!! She simply just said, “I am the Lords servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And she praised her God through it. He didn’t given her too much to go on either. Just a visit from an angel with the explanation of the Holy Spirit coming upon her. Not much detail at all. Thankfully, Mary wasn’t like me and she didn’t need the details because she had faith. She simply said yes without knowing the intricacies of it all. My life would be so different had I learned to do this all along. How can we not admire and respect her, and how can we not glean from her? How different would life be with a simple YES to God without knowing the details. Look at the outcome of her yes!!! I’m sure there was uncertainty, I’m sure there were questions along the way and sure there were tears. So much change for a young girl, a new husband, and changes in her body, her heart, and I imagine her spirit was changing too. Did she really take into consideration the fact that she was growing the Son of God inside of her? Not sure about y’all, but I felt a whole different kind of responsibility when I carried each of my 3. I changed everything about what I did to protect them, to insure they were safe and taken care of. I can’t imagine-her feeling of responsibility -but then I believe her faith carried her, her simple trust in God in knowing this was His plan, so she just had to trust in Him in knowing He had it and what He’d planned would all work out. And we celebrate Christmas because it did all work out according to His perfect plan. 

All this makes me reflect on my life -on my yes’s, on my obedience or disobedience of Gods plan for my life. Recently, I had an encounter with someone that was asking about me, whether I was dating etc. I almost felt like there may have been pity in her question. And while it hopefully was care and concern it struck something inside of me. I started asking myself -do people pity me? Do people pity me that I was widowed at 40 years old? Pity me that MY life plan didn’t quite work out? Do they pity me that I’ve had a failed lengthy relationship/engagement? Do people pity me because I’ve not had the “normal” picture perfect life? This question has bothered me for a few days. 

Until I re-read “Mary’s Magnificat,” while I studied and pondered Mary’s yes and had a realization. My life doesn’t look so normal and far from perfect  to the person on the outside looking in, but my life is an illustration of my YES to God. I’ll take that any day over the “picture perfect.”

If you know my testimony, you know I was saved at a young age, but at age 39 I fully surrendered to God with a statement of ‘God I’ve believed in You for a very long time, but today I am asking for your Spirit to indwell in me as I fully surrender to your will for my life.” That was my long overdue “yes.” Thankfully, my yes on that day was the only way I survived and made it through the next few months of a cancer diagnosis for Shane, and ultimately his death, literally just weeks before did I surrender. My “yes” was the miracle that some think we didn’t receive in his healing. The miracle was the fact that Gods plan was played out and I am still living and breathing to speak about it and give Him the Glory and Honor of it all. The miracle was 3 kids that have survived and thrived despite their life not looking so normal or picture perfect to most. Those white picket fences are wayyyyy overrated. 

Some miracles may not look like miracles to most, but are definite miracles to the one receiving them. Experiencing God’s grace and mercy is where the perfect is at!!! 

Fast forward, I said “yes” again for God to do what He would in my life when I didn’t know what to do with a relationship. Picture this-hands open, give or  take away. I surrendered it to God knowing that it may leave me without a companion, without a someone, without security-the reasons for me staying for so long. He answered-and here I am. So while others may pity me because it looks like I am alone, or my life isn’t the norm, or maybe some slats are missing in the white locker fence-or maybe because it looks like I’m not blessed or favored…I’d say save yourself the pity. I am HIGHLY FAVORED AND BLESSED by the Lover of my Soul. I’ve called on Him and surrendered to Him knowing that His plans are not my plans and things don’t always pan out as I’ve planned. Gods got me!!! I feel it everyday. That’s better than any relationship any-day(especially the toxic ones)🤣

BUT GOD!!!! Pastor Griffin said yesterday-that those 2 words-“BUT GOD “-encapsulates what Christmas is about!!

“BUT GOD, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Eph 2:4-6(emphasis mine)

So please-save the pity. 

Instead, praise the Lord on my behalf, because He has been so so good to me. Do I question some things-absolutely!!! But I am right where God wants me. He saved me when I was disobedient because of fear, and loneliness, He rescued me from  what He saw as something bad for me. I trust Him, I have faith in Him, that faith may not be as big as Mary’s faith, but He has my surrendered yes, over and over, even if I proceed in my own ways for a minute. Gosh, how I  long for the faith of Mary, to allow Him to entrust me with much, to understand His love of me and how He sees me, and not worry as much how others see me, to be braver in my faith walk. But for now, while I exercise to gain that same faith I am willing to be where He has me for whatever reason, even if it looks like a reason to pity me, because maybe it doesn’t look like your life or expectations of what a good life looks like. 

Right now, my life is full, I am happy, my joy abounds and my life allows me to give HIM so much time and devotion that He deserves without distraction. It’s literally the sweetest place to be. 

Lord, help me have faith like Mary, thank you for allowing us to see inside her heart through Luke. Thank you for her example. Thank you for loving me the way you do. Thank you for knowing what I need when I just don’t. Thank you for Christmas and time to reflect on the GIFT we didn’t deserve, but you gave because you desired to save us and spend eternity with us. Thank you Jesus for coming to earth as one of us, to be able to know how to tend to us humans. And thank you for enduring death, and thank you for coming back and sharing your Spirit. Thank you for the promise of YOUR return. Help me continually surrender to your will and ways. Help me overflow with Gods love when the world doesn’t make it easy to do so. Thank you for Jesus, and your Spirit that indwells inside of me that helps me here on earth. Thank you for being ALL that I need. In Jesus name I pray-Amen.