Discard!

Discard- the act of getting rid of something or someone that is no longer useful, or desirable. 

Every summer, while I’m off, i have big plans to have a huge purge of all the  things that clutter and fill my house. Twenty-two years living here and I’ve collected  so much. Honestly, it’s overwhelming, and a task that I definitely procrastinate tackling every summer. So much so, that it’ll be August 1st and I may have just cleaned out the garage or a closet but that’s about it. If I’m honest I have a hard time letting go…of things and well, even people. I grow attached, fortunately and unfortunately. In a way, I think it could be a reflection of my heart, maybe showing how important something or someone is or has become. If you know me, like really know me, you know I love big and deep, and people that I love are held really close. Ironically, I find myself loving “things” the same way and have a really hard time with discarding things because these things are usually a reflection of the love attached to it. Things like my kids school art, birthday cards they’ve given me. Relics of my granny and grandmothers, my parents. I love other peoples treasures and they will essentially become my treasure too. Everything holds a story, a memory. I have a bin of “baby” clothes that I refuse to discard, and when I look through them I can still see each child in the outfit and it brings so much delight and reminders of sweet days. I’m telling you the attachment is real. I struggle with goodbyes, and I think I associate discarding as a goodbye. When something holds significance to me I just have a hard time letting go-be it an object or even a person. Crazy-I know. Tis the reason my house holds lots of things and my heart holds on to lots of things too. 

I appreciate those ultra organized humans that can discard things and have a minimalist life, no clutter, organized closets, pantries -I can truly see the value. And wonder if their minds and hearts are spotless and less cluttered as well. I recently read this, “People may hold onto clutter due to sentimental value, fear of letting go, or a sense of comfort derived from their possessions.” (Verywell Mind August 2023) and I totally understood and relate to this simple statement. I hold on for fear of letting go and find comfort in holding on…to things and sometimes people. 

Then there’s those that aren’t like me. Some can discard their childrens schoolwork, clothes that hold special meaning, relics of grandparents, books of their sisters, a random unmatched spoon that belonged to your best friend when she left it at your house after her morning spoonful of peanut butter and chat around the kitchen table-it’s still here but she’s gone now, there’s clothes in a closet that belongs to my late husband, (thankfully the sons are putting to good use-knew I hung on to them for good reason) Some can look at their things and not feel a thing where I feel everything. Some can donate, throw to the street and never look back. To me everything holds a memory. Maybe I’m just too sentimental or maybe I just love too big. 

While I envy those that can discard “things” easily -sadly, there are those that can easily discard people as well, they promise much, proclaim love, make memories and then suddenly discard you, when they see you bring no value to them any longer. This I CAN NOT understand. Maybe because I’ve always experienced love at its best. Valuing people, loving well, even when saying a goodbye. Loving someone and saying goodbye is acceptable, even Jesus walked away a few times, boundaries are definitely acceptable, distance too-but being discarded is not. People are not trash to be taken to the street. 

In all of this -it’s important  for me to remember that our value isn’t possessions, and definitely not what value others may place on me or my family-but my value and worth come from our Father in Heaven. “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do good things he planned for us all along.” Ephesians 2:10 

When it comes right down to it-I know the clutter in my house is just clutter, -and some of it needs discarding, I know I won’t be lugging it to Jesus. Realizing I should be praying for those that feel discarded by someone and praying they know that their worth is in Christ alone. 

Remembering that if someone is able to discard you so easily, it’s definitely a reflection of their own heart or lack thereof and nothing to do with your worth. I’m shouting “rejection is Gods protection!”

Now, feeling guilty that I sat down to type my heart out and should’ve been discarding some stuff.  Help!