May 18, 1996

 


Not sure why we picked May 18th, when Shane and I picked that date to be married. Wasn’t a significant date, but it became VERY significant. May 18th was the day we said “I do” the day we joined hearts, our love and took an important covenant with God. This day has been celebrated since and always will be. I remember waking up with the sweetest anticipation, nervousness, excitement. Not because of the WEDDING ceremoney, but because I knew I was marrying the man God chose for me. I had prayed a bit before we met and told God that I was done looking for love because there’d been some doozies and lo and behold out of the blue God sent a Berry baseball player into my life, I’ve never been the same since. This time it was different, it felt secure and safe, and not just because I knew i loved Shane and he loved me, but because I knew that I knew that God had given me this man and this love. There was no uncertainty, no hesitancy for either of us. We met in September of ‘94, had our first date on October 8th, he told me he loved me in November (he Mehta can I say?) and we were engaged by April 16th!!! Six short months! When you know you just know. While he finished up at Berry, I worked and we planned the most beautiful, simple wedding, we trusted God for a job for him, a place to live and all the things in between. God provided. We did pre-marriage counseling and found out that we were so very compatible in so many ways, there was never ever cold feet, reluctance or fear going into this marriage. I remember thinking  how there were sweet little confirmations of our meeting, love and marriage. First our names…my then last name, my maiden name is Shannon, his middle name was Shannon, the funniest is when I was a little girl I had an imaginary friend and her name was “Donnie Carol” and his mom and dads names were “Don and Carol.” We use to laugh at these, but knew they were definite little signs that we were meant to be. There was more confirmations like his patience for my impatience, our love for family, for laughter, our love for God, our desires for what we wanted life together to look like. Looking back our union started in October, his sickness was found in October, I sad “yes” on Easter Sunday in April, he passed Easter weekend in April. All so coincidental, or is it? 

May 18th wasn’t the day our love story started but it’s the day our marriage began. I sometimes think I was wayyyyy cheated since we only were married 14 years before death but then remember that there are those that never ever find a love like ours. Steady, strong, a love for each other that urged each other to walk closer with God. A love that was built on trust, respect, and knowledge of where love came from. A love that created the most special gift of Jake, Sam and Molly. A love that was patient, kind, enduring, so very steadfast, unconditional.  He loved me the way Christ intended for a husband to love his wife, and I loved him the way a wife should love her husband. It wasn’t perfect, but it was pure and it was good. I never had to wonder or worry if he loved me, I never felt that the words spoken to me tore me down, instead he always built me up, I always knew he had my back, his love wasn’t self-centered or conditional, he allowed me to be DeAnn in all the ways, good and not so good-and loved me anyway. I loved him perfectly imperfect but he knew that I loved him with my whole heart. He use to tell me that my faith strengthened his, but I disagreed and knew his faith strengthened mine. His sickness made us stronger -the days he was weak, I was strong and vice versa.  He loved us so much that he took the time to set things in place to care for us even after he was gone, had hard conversations with others to make sure we were taken care of. If that’s not the sweetest love that still shows up time and again even when he is t here. 

May 18th is a day like many that’s forever etched in my heart, my soul and mind, it’s the day I said “I do”to the man my God chose for me, the day a new chapter began, it reminds me that I had a love that some search a lifetime for, but never find it. It’s a reminder of what love is suppose to feel like, steady, faithful, strong, u wavering. Not chaotic, restless and fearful. It’s a reminder that I’ll NEVER settle for anything less and with that I’ve come to realize that, sadly, I may never find that kind of love again. There will never be another love like DeAnn and Shane love, but I’ll forever be grateful for knowing that love isn’t just in songs and poems, but that real love was and is forever in my heart and it was given to me by a gracious and loving God and a loving and gracious husband. May 18, 1996 -a treasure of a day!

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